* * Fun With Dick and Jane

45,540 Views | 618 Replies | Last: 1 yr ago by saabing bear
Dia del DougO
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sicem365 may be rethinking their merger with baylorfans.
Roy Rogers
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My math teacher called me average. How mean!
"Sic em yesterday, sic em today, sic em forever"
Gold Tron
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My dyslexic daughter always says that when life gives you a lemon, make melon-ade.

She came up with that on her own...
Assassin
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What kind of magic do cows believe in?

MOODOO!!
Roy Rogers
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No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
"Sic em yesterday, sic em today, sic em forever"
Assassin
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A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it...
Assassin
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My gal is leaving me because I'm going bald.

I'm not bothered, it's hair loss.
Assassin
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Why did the vegan cross the road?

To tell someone he was a vegan.
Assassin
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I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.

Feefiphobia.
Malbec
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If you choked Papa Smurf, what color would he turn?
syme
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Son: "Dad, why is my sister's name Rose?"

Dad: "because your mom loves roses."

Son: "Thanks, dad"

Dad: "You're welcome, BJ"
Assassin
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syme said:

Son: "Dad, why is my sister's name Rose?"

Dad: "because your mom loves roses."

Son: "Thanks, dad"

Dad: "You're welcome, BJ"

Come again?
Assassin
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The dirty look you give the asphalt after you trip and faceplant...
Assassin
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After all these years, I'm finally ready to confess...


I let the dogs out!
syme
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The son was named after what the dad loves.
Roy Rogers
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There's safety in Numbers, but I prefer Deuteronomy.
"Sic em yesterday, sic em today, sic em forever"
Assassin
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syme said:

The son was named after what the dad loves.
Assassin
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The 3 things I'm grateful for:

1. Family
2. Friends
3. Caller ID to avoid family and friends.
Assassin
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What do the movies "The Sixth Sense" and "Titanic" have in common?

Icy dead people.
Roy Rogers
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What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? You can't tuna fish!
"Sic em yesterday, sic em today, sic em forever"
Assassin
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To the person who hid my shoes while I was on the bouncy castle - Grow up!
Assassin
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Sometimes I use really big words which I don't understand to make me seem more photosynthesis.
Assassin
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A duck was about to cross the road when a chicken came running & said, "No don't do it!, you'll never hear the friggin end of it!"
Assassin
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I was dating this dominatrix, then one night I told her it's time to hit the sack.
Assassin
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After dealing with DirectTV billing this AM, I wonder how long I'd be on hold if my call wasn't important to them...
Assassin
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Cooking Tip: If you're tired of always having to boil water every-time you make pasta, boil a few gallons at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later.

You're welcome!
Assassin
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Quote:

Two Aggies are walking down the street. The first one, who is carrying a bag of doughnuts, says to the other, "If you can guess how many doughnuts are in my bag you can have both of them."
Assassin
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I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym again today - that's like seven years in a row.
Assassin
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I'm not fat, I'm just half a foot short...
Assassin
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This guy was killed with a Starter's pistol today.

Police think it's race-related...
Roy Rogers
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I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually, it came back to me.
"Sic em yesterday, sic em today, sic em forever"
Franko
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2021-2023 Adopt-A-Bear
Anthony Anywanwu
cumulative stats:
2022 (Redshirt Sophomore)
Named second-team Academic All-Big 12 … Played in nine games off the bench, totaling seven tackles, including 1.5 for a loss … Went for three tackles, including a tackle for a loss in the win over Texas State … Had a stop at Iowa State … Had three tackles, including half a tackle for a loss, at West Virginia.
Franko
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2021-2023 Adopt-A-Bear
Anthony Anywanwu
cumulative stats:
2022 (Redshirt Sophomore)
Named second-team Academic All-Big 12 … Played in nine games off the bench, totaling seven tackles, including 1.5 for a loss … Went for three tackles, including a tackle for a loss in the win over Texas State … Had a stop at Iowa State … Had three tackles, including half a tackle for a loss, at West Virginia.
Franko
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2021-2023 Adopt-A-Bear
Anthony Anywanwu
cumulative stats:
2022 (Redshirt Sophomore)
Named second-team Academic All-Big 12 … Played in nine games off the bench, totaling seven tackles, including 1.5 for a loss … Went for three tackles, including a tackle for a loss in the win over Texas State … Had a stop at Iowa State … Had three tackles, including half a tackle for a loss, at West Virginia.
Franko
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I do not have a vast collection of jokes, one-liners etc. But I have a strange fascination with the funny and odd things that can be found on the internet. I have collected some of this stuff over the years. So Assassin, if you don't mind, I thought this would be an appropriate place to share some of this stuff.

Would you go to either of these urologists?
http://somerseturology.co.uk/doctor/mr-burns-cox/
https://www.urologyteam.com/our-doctors/dr-richard-chopp
2021-2023 Adopt-A-Bear
Anthony Anywanwu
cumulative stats:
2022 (Redshirt Sophomore)
Named second-team Academic All-Big 12 … Played in nine games off the bench, totaling seven tackles, including 1.5 for a loss … Went for three tackles, including a tackle for a loss in the win over Texas State … Had a stop at Iowa State … Had three tackles, including half a tackle for a loss, at West Virginia.
 
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