I'm off the Premium board until next football season, so here you go.
https://open.substack.com/pub/pecos/p/ranch-report-a-birthday-and-a-funeral?r=44be9f&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

It IS a hard read, but something I've been wanting to write for many years now.
We think that people are "addicted" to booze, but I've come to the conclusion that they are self-medicating to overcome a deep hurt.

Pecos 45 said:

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It IS a hard read, but something I've been wanting to write for many years now.
We think that people are "addicted" to booze, but I've come to the conclusion that they are self-medicating to overcome a deep hurt.

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Its true. I had some very traumatic things occur in my life at a young age. Witnessed a brutal murder at age 8 for example. (on 4th street near the Baylor campus) Back then nobody knew what to do with all that stuff, so ignore it and it will go away. Only it doesn't.

After my wife's passing I went through trauma counseling. It was life changing. In the 18 months of counseling, we rarely talked about my wife's passing. It was mostly all the crazy stuff that had occurred in my life before I hit adulthood. It was life altering. I didn't know I could be this at peace.

I went from 1 1/2 bottles of scotch a week to none. In fact, I rarely have any alcohol these days. I bought a couple of new beers a couple months ago. My fiance asked me how did I like it, and I had to admit that I forgot I had bought them. I went from guzzling, to forgetting to drink. Its nice to have found peace, even if I am over 60.

Better late than never.

Keep up the good work Pecos. I love reading your blog. Great stories.

Thank you for sharing.

I lost one of my three best friends two years ago in a horrible fishing accident. Wesley was a year older but we grew up in the same neighbor. His funeral was tough.

My Dad died 6 years ago. He kicked me out of the house at 15 but we remained close.He was a much better man than I have ever been. I catch myself talking to him even now and have had some amazing dreams.

My younger brother is the only best friend I have left. He had Hodkins lukemia while we were students at Baylor. He lived to graduate, had kids, big time jobs, etc but the damage from the chemo still haunt him. He has had several open heart surgeries trying to get the stints to grapg properly. He has another coming up in two weeks.

Life is hard but its also great. Pecos, my dad and I met you at a screening of one of your movies years ago at Baylor and I have been a fan every since.

You never disappoint.