Hitting me hard...freaking out about my age...things I haven't done...things I wanted to do. I hate this.
Salute the Marines - Joe Biden
Midlife Crisis
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Last: 5 yr ago by Yogi
I'm there too, brother, so know you're not alone.
I've had a lot of things that I wish I had done in my 20s that aren't possible right now. And a lot of chaos that makes the future unclear as to whether I'll ever be able to do some of those things.
I think it's important to figure out the things that are "musts"- things that you absolutely will regret not doing and splitting them off of things that you may want but, when you are in your 80s or 90s won't be as big of a deal to you as you may be thinking now.
I've had a lot of things that I wish I had done in my 20s that aren't possible right now. And a lot of chaos that makes the future unclear as to whether I'll ever be able to do some of those things.
I think it's important to figure out the things that are "musts"- things that you absolutely will regret not doing and splitting them off of things that you may want but, when you are in your 80s or 90s won't be as big of a deal to you as you may be thinking now.
Turned 64 today. Wish I could tell you unequivocally that it gets easier. Well, not so much in my experience - lol.fadskier said:
Hitting me hard...freaking out about my age...things I haven't done...things I wanted to do. I hate this.
One slight consolation for me is that I've finally recognized that whatever it is that looms so large today probably won't in the not-so-distant-future. All the trite sayings you've ever heard are pretty much true. Time passes - time heals.
Stay steady. It's a journey. Lots of valleys along the way, maybe not too many mountain tops. The sun will rise tomorrow regardless. Pay attention to the small blessings.
The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace. Numbers 6:24-26
Thanks. Part of this is that it is unexpectedly hitting me harder than anticipated. and it is not really the age but rather the thought that, should something happen to my wife, I might be "undesirable" to a majority of the population because of age. I used to make fun of the mid-life crisis, but it is definitely real and borders on all consuming.curtpenn said:Turned 64 today. Wish I could tell you unequivocally that it gets easier. Well, not so much in my experience - lol.fadskier said:
Hitting me hard...freaking out about my age...things I haven't done...things I wanted to do. I hate this.
One slight consolation for me is that I've finally recognized that whatever it is that looms so large today probably won't in the not-so-distant-future. All the trite sayings you've ever heard are pretty much true. Time passes - time heals.
Stay steady. It's a journey. Lots of valleys along the way, maybe not too many mountain tops. The sun will rise tomorrow regardless. Pay attention to the small blessings.
The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace. Numbers 6:24-26
Salute the Marines - Joe Biden
Always remember, the only thing worse than growing old is NOT growing old. Enjoy each and every day.fadskier said:
Hitting me hard...freaking out about my age...things I haven't done...things I wanted to do. I hate this.
"Never underestimate Joe's ability to **** things up!"
-- Barack Obama
-- Barack Obama
As a 26 year old - what are some things I should be doing now that I might regret not doing later on in life?
I can't answer that for you...only to say, be true to yourself, screw opinion of others and their expectations.The Hound said:
As a 26 year old - what are some things I should be doing now that I might regret not doing later on in life?
Salute the Marines - Joe Biden
The Hound said:
As a 26 year old - what are some things I should be doing now that I might regret not doing later on in life?
Kinda cliche but the old saying most of the regrets in life are the things we didn't do is so true.
Also, I would not want to be responsible for you doing the things that I wished I'd done and suffering negative consequences...The Hound said:
As a 26 year old - what are some things I should be doing now that I might regret not doing later on in life?
Salute the Marines - Joe Biden
A rolling stone gathers no moss. All we are is dust in the wind, dude. Don't let the sun go down on me. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Keep yourself alive. When in doubt, whip it out.curtpenn said:
All the trite sayings you've ever heard are pretty much true. Time passes - time heals.
Stay steady. It's a journey. Lots of valleys along the way, maybe not too many mountain tops. The sun will rise tomorrow regardless. Pay attention to the small blessings.
One of those got me in trouble a couple of times, so do what you gotta do.
The Hound said:
As a 26 year old - what are some things I should be doing now that I might regret not doing later on in life?
"The world is made for people who aren't cursed with self-awareness." Annie, Bull Durham
The fact you are asking means your are screwed to a certain extent
fadskier said:Also, I would not want to be responsible for you doing the things that I wished I'd done and suffering negative consequences...The Hound said:
As a 26 year old - what are some things I should be doing now that I might regret not doing later on in life?
Too late I already went out today and got a face tattoo. You'll be hearing from my lawyer. I'm an impressionable millennial that was given bad advice!
step one - figure out things that you love to do either once or every day for the rest of your life.The Hound said:
As a 26 year old - what are some things I should be doing now that I might regret not doing later on in life?
Step 2- figure out how to get paid to do these things(daily tasks) or get somebody else to pay for you to do these things(the more individual things). Example: if you like photography and travel... try working as a natire photographer. Overly simple in example but applicable
“Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans. It is lovely to be silly at the right moment.”
–Horace
“Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’ “
–Horace
“Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’ “
Got a BU tattoo in my 40's...wife was not happy.The Hound said:fadskier said:Also, I would not want to be responsible for you doing the things that I wished I'd done and suffering negative consequences...The Hound said:
As a 26 year old - what are some things I should be doing now that I might regret not doing later on in life?
Too late I already went out today and got a face tattoo. You'll be hearing from my lawyer. I'm an impressionable millennial that was given bad advice!
Salute the Marines - Joe Biden
If there is something you would like to do that you have to be in shape to do, do it now. For example, climbing a mountain. It's much harder to stay in shape when you're older. It gets so easy to come home after work and do next to nothing because you're so tired.The Hound said:
As a 26 year old - what are some things I should be doing now that I might regret not doing later on in life?
VaeBear said:If there is something you would like to do that you have to be in shape to do, do it now. For example, climbing a mountain. It's much harder to stay in shape when you're older. It gets so easy to come home after work and do next to nothing because you're so tired.The Hound said:
As a 26 year old - what are some things I should be doing now that I might regret not doing later on in life?
I already feel that way a lot of days. Don't want to be that way because that's how my dad was once he got into his 40s
Save early and often. Assets are your friend. Compound interest is crazy good if you use it and live long enough.The Hound said:
As a 26 year old - what are some things I should be doing now that I might regret not doing later on in life?
Read Ecclesiastes and then read it again. The concept of time and the 24 hour day really set in after I grew older. I came to the realization that I had more years behind me than ahead of me and how it isn't possible to experience most of the things I had once contemplated, most of which I don't regret not doing.
This is where the philosophy can flow really thick.
If I had a suggestion, it's to remember that we can't wind back the clock. The good news is, we're still on this side of the dirt, so if there's something you think you should have changed, then change it now. If you're out of shape and unhappy about it, start taking steps to fix it. I recommend this because it's easier to be positive about other things when you're reasonably healthy.
It's unrealistic to think that we would arrive at this stage in life without obligations. Most of us have to pay the bills and keep the family going. Chucking it all and reinventing yourself just isn't realistic. However, take advice from your dog and try to live "in the now". I mean, we all get really caught up in anticipating a future good thing. We're miserable for months laying time against a vacation or some other small thing. When that's over, we're back to misery. It's no way to live.
Hopefully, there's small good in your life if you look for it and choose to make them your focus. I ride my bike a lot. I'm slow and goofy, but it's funner than being mad at traffic. It's fun to make dinner and get to eat stuff I like. Not the thrill of a Rocky Mountain vacation, but more accessible. Really, it's choosing to deny negativity a free space in my head.
The world makes money by convincing you that you're inadequate. The world is wrong.
If I had a suggestion, it's to remember that we can't wind back the clock. The good news is, we're still on this side of the dirt, so if there's something you think you should have changed, then change it now. If you're out of shape and unhappy about it, start taking steps to fix it. I recommend this because it's easier to be positive about other things when you're reasonably healthy.
It's unrealistic to think that we would arrive at this stage in life without obligations. Most of us have to pay the bills and keep the family going. Chucking it all and reinventing yourself just isn't realistic. However, take advice from your dog and try to live "in the now". I mean, we all get really caught up in anticipating a future good thing. We're miserable for months laying time against a vacation or some other small thing. When that's over, we're back to misery. It's no way to live.
Hopefully, there's small good in your life if you look for it and choose to make them your focus. I ride my bike a lot. I'm slow and goofy, but it's funner than being mad at traffic. It's fun to make dinner and get to eat stuff I like. Not the thrill of a Rocky Mountain vacation, but more accessible. Really, it's choosing to deny negativity a free space in my head.
The world makes money by convincing you that you're inadequate. The world is wrong.
Great words. The difficulty I'm experiencing is that I've have had a great life thus far...great wife, great kids....I started working out and getting back in shape....kind of worried what I might do when I get there...but again, just regretting that I have lived life too cautiously...and this overwhelming feeling of dread is awful.
Salute the Marines - Joe Biden
It's funny how your perspective can change over time. In the fall of 2006 I passed a kidney stone, which caused me to rupture my appendix, which caused the surgeon to find a mass growing in my abdominal cavity, which turned out to be malignant, which also turned out to be incurable, which further convinced an oncologist to tell my wife I had only a few months to live.
That slap in the face made me rethink a lot of priorities.
Fortunately, the oncologist was behind on research in my kind of cancer, and I am still alive and all things considered well. I got to see my daughter graduate high school, I got to go back to school and earn an MBA, and I have done many things with a joy for life and gratitude that I get to experience it, that makes everyday things special and the value of life well beyond measure.
Enjoy each day, because none are guaranteed but all are a gift and an opportunity to discover new perspectives and depth. Pay attention to family, to sunrises and sunsets, to children at play, and all the little things that make life a delight if you pay attention.
We are all rich in ways we too often ignore, and our attitude is really the only way to be poor.
That slap in the face made me rethink a lot of priorities.
Fortunately, the oncologist was behind on research in my kind of cancer, and I am still alive and all things considered well. I got to see my daughter graduate high school, I got to go back to school and earn an MBA, and I have done many things with a joy for life and gratitude that I get to experience it, that makes everyday things special and the value of life well beyond measure.
Enjoy each day, because none are guaranteed but all are a gift and an opportunity to discover new perspectives and depth. Pay attention to family, to sunrises and sunsets, to children at play, and all the little things that make life a delight if you pay attention.
We are all rich in ways we too often ignore, and our attitude is really the only way to be poor.
That which does not kill me, will try again and get nastier
Thanks...uplifting story. I've thought about returning to school as well for a Phd...kind of wondering what I'm going to do when I early retire in three years.Oldbear83 said:
It's funny how your perspective can change over time. In the fall of 2006 I passed a kidney stone, which caused me to rupture my appendix, which caused the surgeon to find a mass growing in my abdominal cavity, which turned out to be malignant, which also turned out to be incurable, which further convinced an oncologist to tell my wife I had only a few months to live.
That slap in the face made me rethink a lot of priorities.
Fortunately, the oncologist was behind on research in my kind of cancer, and I am still alive and all things considered well. I got to see my daughter graduate high school, I got to go back to school and earn an MBA, and I have done many things with a joy for life and gratitude that I get to experience it, that makes everyday things special and the value of life well beyond measure.
Enjoy each day, because none are guaranteed but all are a gift and an opportunity to discover new perspectives and depth. Pay attention to family, to sunrises and sunsets, to children at play, and all the little things that make life a delight if you pay attention.
We are all rich in ways we too often ignore, and our attitude is really the only way to be poor.
Salute the Marines - Joe Biden
You might like taking some courses online in subject matters that are new to you. A PH.D is going to be a lot of work and what do you do with it when you've finished? I'm taking a few courses (in the woods) on outdoor living skills with the idea of passing that knowledge on to my grandkids. Bow making and canoe building could be in the future too.fadskier said:Thanks...uplifting story. I've thought about returning to school as well for a Phd...kind of wondering what I'm going to do when I early retire in three years.Oldbear83 said:
It's funny how your perspective can change over time. In the fall of 2006 I passed a kidney stone, which caused me to rupture my appendix, which caused the surgeon to find a mass growing in my abdominal cavity, which turned out to be malignant, which also turned out to be incurable, which further convinced an oncologist to tell my wife I had only a few months to live.
That slap in the face made me rethink a lot of priorities.
Fortunately, the oncologist was behind on research in my kind of cancer, and I am still alive and all things considered well. I got to see my daughter graduate high school, I got to go back to school and earn an MBA, and I have done many things with a joy for life and gratitude that I get to experience it, that makes everyday things special and the value of life well beyond measure.
Enjoy each day, because none are guaranteed but all are a gift and an opportunity to discover new perspectives and depth. Pay attention to family, to sunrises and sunsets, to children at play, and all the little things that make life a delight if you pay attention.
We are all rich in ways we too often ignore, and our attitude is really the only way to be poor.
fadskier said:
Hitting me hard...freaking out about my age...things I haven't done...things I wanted to do. I hate this.
Serious answer ......
Book a white water rafting trip through the Grand Canyon with Arizona River Runners or the Yampa River with OARS.
Spend the next 60 days getting healthy and fit . Then DO IT.
Will cleanse your spirit.
I lifted weights and jogged for 1.5 hours five days for the past two weeks. I've always exercised but I am ramping it up.Canada2017 said:fadskier said:
Hitting me hard...freaking out about my age...things I haven't done...things I wanted to do. I hate this.
Serious answer ......
Book a white water rafting trip through the Grand Canyon with Arizona River Runners or the Yampa River with OARS.
Spend the next 60 days getting healthy and fit . Then DO IT.
Will cleanse your spirit.
Like the idea of white water rafting...never done that before.
Salute the Marines - Joe Biden
Gruvin said:step one - figure out things that you love to do either once or every day for the rest of your life.The Hound said:
As a 26 year old - what are some things I should be doing now that I might regret not doing later on in life?
Step 2- figure out how to get paid to do these things(daily tasks) or get somebody else to pay for you to do these things(the more individual things). Example: if you like photography and travel... try working as a natire photographer. Overly simple in example but applicable
Agree with this but read an interesting twist on it.
Making a living off what you love to do is often not practical. Studies have shown that people who gain a high level of expertise in their chosen field often get a great degree of job satisfaction - somewhat of a backdoor to doing what you love, though this is professionally much more obtainable than starting out with what you love.
Since your mentioned "back door," I read an article last night (Men's Health, I think) that 42% of all men experiencing a mid-life crisis, have an affair. Of those, 26% are with same sex. WTH?!?Keyser Soze said:Gruvin said:step one - figure out things that you love to do either once or every day for the rest of your life.The Hound said:
As a 26 year old - what are some things I should be doing now that I might regret not doing later on in life?
Step 2- figure out how to get paid to do these things(daily tasks) or get somebody else to pay for you to do these things(the more individual things). Example: if you like photography and travel... try working as a natire photographer. Overly simple in example but applicable
Agree with this but read an interesting twist on it.
Making a living off what you love to do is often not practical. Studies have shown that people who gain a high level of expertise in their chosen field often get a great degree of job satisfaction - somewhat of a backdoor to doing what you love, though this is professionally much more obtainable than starting out with what you love.
Salute the Marines - Joe Biden
fadskier said:
Hitting me hard...freaking out about my age...things I haven't done...things I wanted to I hate this.
I turn 70 next week. Enjoying life more than ever. My pal Van sums it up really well with this song.
I'm a Bearbacker
fadskier said:
Hitting me hard...freaking out about my age...things I haven't done...things I wanted to do. I hate this.
You've done great and I have tremendous respect for you. Is it that you don't know how many of us enjoy you from afar?
Or do you need a 25 year old immigrant side chick?
fadskier said:Got a BU tattoo in my 40's...wife was not happy.The Hound said:fadskier said:Also, I would not want to be responsible for you doing the things that I wished I'd done and suffering negative consequences...The Hound said:
As a 26 year old - what are some things I should be doing now that I might regret not doing later on in life?
Too late I already went out today and got a face tattoo. You'll be hearing from my lawyer. I'm an impressionable millennial that was given bad advice!
I got VD. Your wife won.
Come on, everyone knows better than to party in College Station.tommie said:fadskier said:Got a BU tattoo in my 40's...wife was not happy.The Hound said:fadskier said:Also, I would not want to be responsible for you doing the things that I wished I'd done and suffering negative consequences...The Hound said:
As a 26 year old - what are some things I should be doing now that I might regret not doing later on in life?
Too late I already went out today and got a face tattoo. You'll be hearing from my lawyer. I'm an impressionable millennial that was given bad advice!
I got VD. Your wife won.
That which does not kill me, will try again and get nastier
Why does it have to be from afar?tommie said:fadskier said:
Hitting me hard...freaking out about my age...things I haven't done...things I wanted to do. I hate this.
You've done great and I have tremendous respect for you. Is it that you don't know how many of us enjoy you from afar?
Or do you need a 25 year old immigrant side chick?
Salute the Marines - Joe Biden
Seriously? That's awful.tommie said:fadskier said:Got a BU tattoo in my 40's...wife was not happy.The Hound said:fadskier said:Also, I would not want to be responsible for you doing the things that I wished I'd done and suffering negative consequences...The Hound said:
As a 26 year old - what are some things I should be doing now that I might regret not doing later on in life?
Too late I already went out today and got a face tattoo. You'll be hearing from my lawyer. I'm an impressionable millennial that was given bad advice!
I got VD. Your wife won.
Salute the Marines - Joe Biden
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