Aging Parents...

2,984 Views | 13 Replies | Last: 4 yr ago by LIB,MR BEARS
JusHappy2BeHere
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My dad will be 93 in August. He has been pretty much the same guy I've known for 58 years. If you ask my kids about him they will say the same... that they have seen very few small changes in him over the course of their lives... This is the 75 year old that jumped on my sons Razor Scooter on Christmas Day and took off down the street, did a bat turn at the end and came back down towards the Cul-de-sac at break neck speed.

We have noticed a few small changes... handwriting is a little shakier... names are harder for him to remember.... He fell twice since January.... cut his hand but didn't break anything.

Tuesday morning he had a mild stroke (is any stroke mild when you're 92?) during breakfast. They were on it quickly and it isn't life threatening, but he now can't seem to find words... He'll say a perfectly good sentence with excellent pronunciation, and then the next one will be in Klingon.

Today he came home and he sounds much more like himself. His problem now is he can't eat and drink safely without some modifications. He has been the caretaker for his 94 year old wife (not mom) who is mostly wheel chair bound due to a painful back issue. So it looks like the move from their house to the home is no longer a probably should but a have too soon.

He's going to hate that.

Mrs. Jus is busy searching flights to North Carolina right now.... probably going to be packing and storing stuff before April is over.
"When I despair, I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it--always."

Mahatma Gandhi
RD2WINAGNBEAR86
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Enjoy your Dad while you still have him. I know it does not make you feel any better, but my Dad fought Alzheimer's for almost nine years before he died. He did not know who I was his last year.

Sounds like you and the Mrs. have some tough decisions ahead. Hang in there, my friend.

"Never underestimate Joe's ability to **** things up!"

-- Barack Obama
BaylorGrad&Dad
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Hi, Jus

I am a financial advisor, and I help my clients with this sort of thing all too frequently. One thing I have access to is a database of documents (whitepapers) that address things like dealing with aging parents. If you send me your e-mail, I'll be glad to send you 2 or 3 of the whitepapers. Please know, I'm not trying to sell you anything; there is nothing to sell, it's just a service I provide to my clients, friends and fellow Bears.
JusHappy2BeHere
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BaylorGrad&Dad said:

Hi, Jus

I am a financial advisor, and I help my clients with this sort of thing all too frequently. One thing I have access to is a database of documents (whitepapers) that address things like dealing with aging parents. If you send me your e-mail, I'll be glad to send you 2 or 3 of the whitepapers. Please know, I'm not trying to sell you anything; there is nothing to sell, it's just a service I provide to my clients, friends and fellow Bears.

Thanks BG&D

DM sent
"When I despair, I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it--always."

Mahatma Gandhi
LIB,MR BEARS
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Jus, I lost my dad in February. He had been in declining health for the prior year. All I can tell you is to LATCH ON TO EVERY MINUTE!

A year ago, I logically knew what was coming. However, a year ago I had no clue of the void to be left and the regret for me being more tied to my work than to my family.

Find a bunch of old pictures. Relive a bunch of old memories with him, hopefully with the kids present. I had no clue how meaningful some of those final conversations would become.

Prayers for peace, comfort and God's will for you and your family.

fadskier
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Lifting up prayers for you. I have already lost both my parents and am dreading getting old myself.
57Bear
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Age is just a number. We are all on the death spiral of life - my rule is that the more that I do, the more I can do. Sometimes we just need to push ourselves a little! Develop new interests in life.
quash
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Gonna be in N. Carolina Easter weekend but will have time to help if we are nearby. PM me with location if I can be of help.
JusHappy2BeHere
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quash said:

Gonna be in N. Carolina Easter weekend but will have time to help if we are nearby. PM me with location if I can be of help.
Talked to them tonight on the phone. The place they live isn't going to be able to start working on relocating them to the assisted living area of the campus before Monday at the earliest. No idea how long it will take because Weekend... Mrs. JusHappy is driving out tomorrow, Houston to Newton to take the caretaker role and let them both rest.... probably serve as a buffer between them too.... Once we know more about moving I'll fly one way to help with that part and then just drive back with her. By next week my brother will be available to come if he is still needed.
"When I despair, I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it--always."

Mahatma Gandhi
Alfred Anchorsen
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My mother had a series of mini-strokes and we never even knew until it affected her eye sight and balance.
curtpenn
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My mom and dad are 88 and 89. Dad's been battling lymphoma for almost 3.5 years now after the original prognosis was 2-3 months. He's a Korea vet - Combat Infantry Badge, Bronze Star with Valor, Purple Heart still fighting the good fight. Struggling to type through tears now... Anyway, I try to make the drive from Dallas to their home in Schertz every 3 weeks or so. Three + years of chemo and radiation have kept him ticking, but he just gets slower and slower and now sleeps a lot in his chair. Getting harder to have a conversation. It's all taking a huge toll on my mother. Not sure how much longer she'll be able to manage by herself. I'm an only child. Dad has no surviving family basically. Mom has one younger brother left in her home state of North Carolina which she left to marry Dad in '53. Getting old is tough. Prayers for your journey.
JusHappy2BeHere
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This mornings email from Mrs. JusHappy

So much for optimism. I got here this morning and they are barely speaking. She's all in a huff because she can't get exactly what she wants. He cut his banana's in his oatmeal wrong. I microwaved the oatmeal and handed him his and asked if he wanted me to cut his bananas and he said yes. She asked wasn't I going to cut up his bananas. I said "he said he wants to do it" and then she literally got snippy because he wasn't doing it the way she does it. So I microwaved hers and asked if the consistency was right and brought her banana over. Did she want me to cut hers up yes. That size? "well that will do but I do it smaller". And they are not wanting to talk at all about the living situation.

Prayers people I need prayers!
"When I despair, I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it--always."

Mahatma Gandhi
LIB,MR BEARS
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JusHappy2BeHere said:

This mornings email from Mrs. JusHappy

So much for optimism. I got here this morning and they are barely speaking. She's all in a huff because she can't get exactly what she wants. He cut his banana's in his oatmeal wrong. I microwaved the oatmeal and handed him his and asked if he wanted me to cut his bananas and he said yes. She asked wasn't I going to cut up his bananas. I said "he said he wants to do it" and then she literally got snippy because he wasn't doing it the way she does it. So I microwaved hers and asked if the consistency was right and brought her banana over. Did she want me to cut hers up yes. That size? "well that will do but I do it smaller". And they are not wanting to talk at all about the living situation.

Prayers people I need prayers!
you got'em! And, your wife.
Moondoggie
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82 and 83 abs both trucking along looking younger than they are. Mom is on a walker but it does not slow her down. I go by and see them everyday as I know I won't have them forever. It is a form of grieving I am going through. Facing rhythm inevitable.
Well that is my rant on having aging parents.
LIB,MR BEARS
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pitchman said:

82 and 83 abs both trucking along looking younger than they are. Mom is on a walker but it does not slow her down. I go by and see them everyday as I know I won't have them forever. It is a form of grieving I am going through. Facing rhythm inevitable.
Well that is my rant on having aging parents.
i love the fact that you go by to see them daily. Good for you... and them.
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