Realitybites said:

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Sunday morning, there was a man in the church parking lot. He looked a bit scruffy, probably a rough 55 or a regularly aging 65. He was pacing back and forth intently staring at his phone.

I didn't initially identify him as a homeless guy because I didn't see his backpack and cup of coffee until I was almost inside. So my initial analysis based on first impressions was "is this a drug addicted/crazy threat who just happens to be in our parking lot."

But the more I thought about it I realized it was a homeless guy who had chosen to shelter in our parking lot (+ or - whatever issues had led him to that state).

What would have been the right thing to do? Talk to him? Invite him to the service? If you invite him inside and he threatens others, I don't really have the right to make that decision for other parishoners or their children. Skip the service and go talk to him?

I decided I would talk to him when the service was over and see what was going on and try to help him if I could but he was gone.

Yes, there are millions of homeless people and you cannot fix a broken creation. But this one guy chose to sleep in our church parking lot for whatever reason.

...and for the past few days I'm having this nagging "you were the Pharisee who crossed the street" feeling.

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I've been doing some introspection... I always saw them and turned the other way, justifying it by saying they made their choices, or they will just buy drugs or beer if I give them money.

There are a few at our church that 'took in' homeless peeps this past year and are still helping them.

I refuse to walk to the other side of the road anymore. Will keep you posted.

Most homeless people need help other than money and a single meal. In the past, I've talked with them, brought food when possible. Mainly I directed them to a specific shelter. I've even called the shelter with the homeless person to see how to best get them in. Donated to the shelters.
But every single homeless I talked to isn't interested in going. They all know about the shelters and have their reasons (excuses) for not wanting to go. Most have mental illness, addictions, etc. Times are different now, the homeless have access to lots of services. And you can't force them to use them.

Do the best you can do, with a compassionate mindset, and look for opportunities to do better if you feel like you missed something.

Fwiw, I don't feel led to let a street stranger sleep in my house, especially considering my wife and kids are there as well. But maybe others do,and good for them.

TinFoilHatPreacherBear said:

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Most homeless people need help other than money and a single meal. In the past, I've talked with them, brought food when possible. Mainly I directed them to a specific shelter. I've even called the shelter with the homeless person to see how to best get them in. Donated to the shelters.
But every single homeless I talked to isn't interested in going. They all know about the shelters and have their reasons (excuses) for not wanting to go. Most have mental illness, addictions, etc. Times are different now, the homeless have access to lots of services. And you can't force them to use them.

Do the best you can do, with a compassionate mindset, and look for opportunities to do better if you feel like you missed something.

Fwiw, I don't feel led to let a street stranger sleep in my house, especially considering my wife and kids are there as well. But maybe others do,and good for them.

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The one that did, took in a late 20s female that was sleeping in her car while being a manager of a fitness gym. And their 2 boys are off to college. It is a low risk scenario for them.

Most situations call to not go that far... there are other ways to care and not put your family at risk.

By the way.

A surprising number of our clients were VETERANS.

Don't know why.

We really should do more for the homeless, but it requires difficult decisions.

Most are mentally ill or drug addicts and need forced help.

TinFoilHatPreacherBear said:

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Fwiw, I don't feel led to let a street stranger sleep in my house, especially considering my wife and kids are there as well. But maybe others do,and good for them.

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Yeah, no. Not doing that. Have a wife, pets, and guns.

Married A Horn said:

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TinFoilHatPreacherBear said:

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Most homeless people need help other than money and a single meal. In the past, I've talked with them, brought food when possible. Mainly I directed them to a specific shelter. I've even called the shelter with the homeless person to see how to best get them in. Donated to the shelters.
But every single homeless I talked to isn't interested in going. They all know about the shelters and have their reasons (excuses) for not wanting to go. Most have mental illness, addictions, etc. Times are different now, the homeless have access to lots of services. And you can't force them to use them.

Do the best you can do, with a compassionate mindset, and look for opportunities to do better if you feel like you missed something.

Fwiw, I don't feel led to let a street stranger sleep in my house, especially considering my wife and kids are there as well. But maybe others do,and good for them.

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The one that did, took in a late 20s female that was sleeping in her car while being a manager of a fitness gym. And their 2 boys are off to college. It is a low risk scenario for them.

Most situations call to not go that far... there are other ways to care and not put your family at risk.

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Suspect most Americans would be shocked at the number of our citizens living in their car.

Once saw an older man gently life his gravely ill wife out of the passenger seat and brought her into the center.

She had an IV into her arm and was crying.

Later found out he was a vet.

Will never forget the sight.

I have had brief interactions with some homeless people near where I work, and one guy near where I live. I learned a few helpful rules of thumb for interacting with homeless people from friends in LE.

1. While it is natural to want to help someone in obvious need, keep in mind that there is risk in interacting with any person you do not know. Do not take risks with a homeless person which you would not take with a stranger;

2. Never open your car door or window to a homeless person if you have a small person or child in your vehicle;

3. If you speak to a homeless person, make sure you can see their hands and that they have no weapon visible;

4. If you speak with a homeless person, use a clear voice at normal volume, treat them with the same courtesy you would give to anyone else you meet;

5. If you choose to give cash to a homeless person, have it ready and do not indicate how much cash you have beyond what you are offering;

6. Always be aware of your surroundings. Especially at night and in urban areas, where street corners are contested for territory and some homeless people will show up from behind or out of shadows.

3 random "homeless" stories.

1. The best lesson I ever learned was from a friend. We were both working downtown and met for lunch. A homeless guy came up asking for money. He said he needed it to eat. My friend said to join us for lunch. It's on my friend. The guy immediately walked away.

My friend did take a lot of homeless people to lunch downtown. Don't give money. Offer them whatever they planned to do with the money. It usually separates the true homeless from the drug/alcohol addicts.

2. I was driving back from the Baylor - Miami game in Waco in August late 90s. It was hot as heck. I almost melted at the game. As I am going by downtown, I see an old fella picking up cans on the side of the highway. I felt I should do something. Dangerously hot for an old guy. Knew some friends who would help. I'll do the same and let them know!

I go a couple of exits, felt convicted and turned around. I go back to where he is. I pull over and offer him $20 (it's all I had on me) to let me take him home. He agreed though he seemed like he was happy doing what he was doing.

He gives me directions to his house. We chat as we drive. He is 85 and has great grandchildren. Goodness! I am such a special guy helping this guy out. Wait til everyone hears about my generous deed.

We get to his street and points to his house. I'm already feeling stupid. I pull into the driveway. His house is nicer than mine. His car in the driveway is nicer than mine. He kindly thanks me for the lift as he takes the trash bag out of my trunk.

Lesson: help others unselfishly. If you are doing it for personal glory, it's gonna backfire at some point. lol.
I got a hat I deserved!

One day before Halloween a young couple came into the shelter with a cute little 4 year old boy.

All were clean, all were polite.

They came in for food and clothes.

My shift over I got in my truck to go home when I saw them aimlessly walking down the street.

Wanted to help but all I had was a c note.

So I drove on.

After 2 minutes I turned around and introduced myself to the boys parents. Asked if I could give him a Halloween present.

They said yes.

Gave the boy my c note and left.

3. I grew up in Georgia. I used to be active on Facebook. Was in touch with lots of childhood friends.

I saw an odd post by a guy who was a grade younger.

Talked to a common friend. Discovered he was living homeless in Dallas for the past 10 years. Shocked. He had been a great student, in the band, very likeable person. But he along with a few other guys were known to hit the booze pretty hard in high school. Alcohol was his addiction.

At the time he was living in a body shop down by the Cotton Bowl (probably the only white guy down there).

There's a lot more to his story and interactions some of us had with him. Not enough space for everything.

Another friend bought him a bus ticket to Florida where he was going to stay at a rehab place owned by a good friend of his from high school (we all knew each other). My job was to make sure he got on the bus.

I go to the downtown bus station on a Friday evening (truly a 3rd world country). I look everywhere for for him. I find him sitting beside the building being questioned by police. He had been drinking some type of mouthwash. Police let me take him. We go in the bus station and learn his bus is full and he will have to take the 8 AM bus.

We get in my car and drive around trying to get a plan. He hinted about staying with me. I have to take my daughter to a horse show at 6 AM. Plus I live in Plano. It ain't gonna work. As we are discussing a plan, we laugh about the old days and argue about his situation. He is asking for advice from me. I tell him he has a Masters in Family Counseling! He should be counseling me! He knows what he needs to do and not do.

We broach the idea of a hotel. Honestly, I fear that because he could be drunk, sleep late, do something destructive, etc., assuming a hotel will even take him.

He finally tells me where to drive. He has a plan. We drive south of town near a facility he had used in the past. Except he said he wouldn't be allowed there. But he knew a place nearby.

It was a wooded area. He was going to sleep in the woods! And, of course, a big rainstorm came overnight. I've never felt so bad and helpless leaving someone to sleep in the woods.

Somehow he made it on the bus.

Bad news is he returned to Dallas soon after. Eventually some woman and her mom took him in. I heard recently that he was back in our hometown though I haven't confirmed it. He seems to be clean now. Hallelujah!

This guy is intelligent and had a good job. Alcohol did him in. Somehow some way he survived on the streets for years.

KaiBear said:

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One day before Halloween a young couple came into the shelter with a cute little 4 year old boy.

All were clean, all were polite.

They came in for food and clothes.

My shift over I got in my truck to go home when I saw them aimlessly walking down the street.

Wanted to help but all I had was a c note.

So I drove on.

After 2 minutes I turned around and introduced myself to the boys parents. Asked if I could give him a Halloween present.

They said yes.

Have the boy my c note and left.

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My wife used to volunteer at a place for people to get food and basics. One woman came in almost weekly for food. She drove a freaking Mercedes. Drove my wife nuts.

There are 100 of thousands starving and diseased children under the age of 5 that die each year, it's part of being a mammal, aom ehave and some have not. You can't fix all the problems humans have had for millions of years but you can do a little something, like a hot meal or tip people well who work rather ass off at ****ty jobs for ****ty pay. Do what you can and don't let guilt from a belief system that terrorized hummas to get where they are today.

midgett said:

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KaiBear said:

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One day before Halloween a young couple came into the shelter with a cute little 4 year old boy.

All were clean, all were polite.

They came in for food and clothes.

My shift over I got in my truck to go home when I saw them aimlessly walking down the street.

Wanted to help but all I had was a c note.

So I drove on.

After 2 minutes I turned around and introduced myself to the boys parents. Asked if I could give him a Halloween present.

They said yes.

Have the boy my c note and left.

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My wife used to volunteer at a place for people to get food and basics. One woman came in almost weekly for food. She drove a freaking Mercedes. Drove my wife nuts.

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Never witnessed a luxury car., though certainly saw the food bank abused by some folks.

But there are far more people who need the food and don't have the transportation to get it.

midgett said:

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KaiBear said:

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One day before Halloween a young couple came into the shelter with a cute little 4 year old boy.

All were clean, all were polite.

They came in for food and clothes.

My shift over I got in my truck to go home when I saw them aimlessly walking down the street.

Wanted to help but all I had was a c note.

So I drove on.

After 2 minutes I turned around and introduced myself to the boys parents. Asked if I could give him a Halloween present.

They said yes.

Have the boy my c note and left.

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My wife used to volunteer at a place for people to get food and basics. One woman came in almost weekly for food. She drove a freaking Mercedes. Drove my wife nuts.

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I struggle with that too ...

My wife hosted several "showers of blessing" at church for young unmarried mothers ... virtually all of them showed up in Cadillacs or Mercedes ...

During the annual volunteer at the food bank Thanksgiving food giveaway, there were myriad:
- people driving through with 5+ "families" to get 5x the food
- folks driving brand new Mercedes, Range Rovers, Cadillacs, etc.

There is an entire underclass that knows exactly how to work the system. Since the 60s and exponential since Obama we've created an entire entitlement attitude among bleks.

You are not going to fix anyone. Most of the homeless need consistent and serious care.

But, we are called to feed the poor. Some of the people you see are legit and some of it is a scam.

If you are giving, you build up treasure in heaven. For the scammers, that is between them and God. If you give, you still did the right thing.

I'm not comfortable giving cash. So, I keep extra McDonalds and Subway gift cards on me so they can get a couple of meals. I also have extra cards with information about local homeless shelters in our city. They can call and a bus will pick them up.

The shelter connects them to meaningful services.

joseywales said:

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There are 100 of thousands starving and diseased children under the age of 5 that die each year, it's part of being a mammal, aom ehave and some have not. You can't fix all the problems humans have had for millions of years but you can do a little something, like a hot meal or tip people well who work rather ass off at ****ty jobs for ****ty pay. Do what you can and don't let guilt from a belief system that terrorized hummas to get where they are today.

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You're a God hater. Pray that when your day of suffering comes in your old age that you will be surrounded by better humans than the ones you tried to created. Sleep well tonight knowing that day of suffering is coming into your life at some point.

Realitybites said:

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Sunday morning, there was a man in the church parking lot. He looked a bit scruffy, probably a rough 55 or a regularly aging 65. He was pacing back and forth intently staring at his phone.

I didn't initially identify him as a homeless guy because I didn't see his backpack and cup of coffee until I was almost inside. So my initial analysis based on first impressions was "is this a drug addicted/crazy threat who just happens to be in our parking lot."

But the more I thought about it I realized it was a homeless guy who had chosen to shelter in our parking lot (+ or - whatever issues had led him to that state).

What would have been the right thing to do? Talk to him? Invite him to the service? If you invite him inside and he threatens others, I don't really have the right to make that decision for other parishoners or their children. Skip the service and go talk to him?

I decided I would talk to him when the service was over and see what was going on and try to help him if I could but he was gone.

Yes, there are millions of homeless people and you cannot fix a broken creation. But this one guy chose to sleep in our church parking lot for whatever reason.

...and for the past few days I'm having this nagging "you were the Pharisee who crossed the street" feeling.

---

Approach him, introduce yourself, ask " what can I do to help you" and then say "tell me your story."

Based off his story and his request, you'll probably get a good idea if church can wait or if church needs a visitor that morning.

I don't think there is a stock answer. Meet the need that is presented.

Edmond Bear said:

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You are not going to fix anyone. Most of the homeless need consistent and serious care.

But, we are called to feed the poor. Some of the people you see are legit and some of it is a scam.

If you are giving, you build up treasure in heaven. For the scammers, that is between them and God. If you give, you still did the right thing.

I'm not comfortable giving cash. So, I keep extra McDonalds and Subway gift cards on me so they can get a couple of meals. I also have extra cards with information about local homeless shelters in our city. They can call and a bus will pick them up.

The shelter connects them to meaningful services.

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different situations call for different solutions (or bandaids). I've bought a bike inner tube, a prepaid phone card and lunch. I've taken loads of extra coats to a shelter on a cold night only to be told they want accept them after the doors are locked (security reasons I suppose).

Twice I've had offers for a ride to a shelter declined. The first time the ride was declined the young couple knew about the shelter but said they were banned from there because they had rules they didn't agree with. The second time it was an elderly woman during a sleet storm. She said she had a house just around the corner and was just trying to get some money.

One time a guy told me he was fine and didn't need anything. He had just walked to Waco and arrived a couple days early because he didn't want to miss his appointment with the VA