Once upon a time, there was a coach who was hired to takeover a troubled program at a big-time school. On his first day of work, he walked into his new office, but to his surprise, the old coach was sitting at the desk. As he watched, the old coach licked an envelope and sealed it.
"Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't realize you were still here," said the new coach.
"No, no! It's fine," said the old coach. "I was just putting together these envelopes for you."
"Uh, OK. Thanks. What are they for?" said the new coach.
"There are three envelopes, and they are numbered. They are for the next three crises that you'll face as a coach. Just open them one for each crisis. My predecessor did the same for me."
"Thanks.." said the new coach, feeling a bit awkward. He took the envelopes, put them in the drawer and walked the old coach out.
Things went well for the new coach for a while. They had a winning season. Then he made the NCAA tournament and even advanced to the Elite 8 the year after that. But then things started to turn. There was a recruiting violation, and several big-name players didn't pan out. They missed the tournament for the first time in 4 years, and his name was listed on the "hot seat" lists. He was sitting in his office fretting when he remembered the envelopes. "What the heck!" he thought. So he opened the drawer, rifled through the papers and found the first envelope. He opened it. The letter inside said "Welcome to your first crisis. Fire some assistant coaches and announce a splashy new hire." He wasn't really that kind of coach, but he wanted to keep his job. So he fired some coaches and hired away a big-time assistant from another program.
Things improved. The new guys was a lights-out recruiter, and the program regained a good momentum. The team made the tournament the next year, and things were looking good. But then the new recruiter was caught cheating and beating his wife. He was fired, but almost all of the top-level recruits that had committed to the program canceled their commitments and things looked bad. This time, the coach remembered the envelopes right away. He ran to his desk and opened envelope #2. "Leak it to the press that you are interviewing for other big-time jobs and even the NBA." The coach did this, and the school panicked and gave him a lucrative extension and a bigger NIL budged. He hit the transfer market like a champ and brought in a great class. The next season, the sizzle was better than ever, and they again advanced to the Sweet 16 losing to the eventual champs.
Sure enough, a few years later, the program hit a rough patch. The school was regretting his big contract, and openly discussing hiring this new, up-and-coming young coach. The coach went to his desk, confident that the third envelope would reveal a way out. He calmly sipped his coffee as he opened envelope #3 and read "Take out three envelopes..."
