I stopped drinking a little over 15 years ago. I was a social drinker. I typically didn't have alcohol in the house but would drink at events/gatherings. The last time I got drunk I was playing golf with my father in law so it's not like I was out running around bars while my wife was at home with the kids.
At this same time, I had a brother in law who was drunk most weekends, spent family savings on alcohol, had to drink in the morning to "settle his nerves" so he could work (commercial artist) and would pass out more evenings than not. My wife would buy his kids shoes for school because mom and dad didn't have any money though they did have a full fridge.
He finally recognized he was an alcoholic and started going to AA meetings. That lasted a couple of weeks when he decided he wasn't like those people. Then he decided to quit cold turkey. I remember being at a family function and for the first time ever, he was the only one NOT drinking. He was sweating, shaking, going in and out of the house. "Hey, great job! Really proud of you" as we all twist off another cap. That was the extent of our support. "Atta boy" but I'm not letting your problem slow me down. He gave up on the cold turkey approach and tried moderation.
About a month or two later, he and my sister in law got into a big argument and he decided he needed some space so he went back to his hometown for a weekend to unwind. He hung out with his brother who was a user and they partied pretty hard that weekend. When the weekend was over, he called his wife and said "I'm headed home. I'll see you in a couple hours."
The driver of a car that was behind his van while stopped at an intersection said they saw him fall over toward the center console. As he did, the weight of his body must have shifted to his right leg and therefore to the accelerator pedal. The van took off down the road with him slumped over. The van, accelerating with an unconscious driver, made it 5-6 houses down the road before going through one yard and squarely hitting a tree in the next. With him slumped over, when the airbag deployed, it did no good as it went over his left shoulder. His head slammed into the radio and AC control head causing massive brain damage. He died a couple days later with his wife, 3 kids, extended family and friends in attendance as he was taken off of life support. The doctor said they found coke, among other things, in his system. Supposedly the coke was from that weekend only - I really don't know if that is true or not.
That family didn't get destroyed that weekend. They had been destroyed over the previous years. The weekend was just a culmination of all the other small, destructive events from previous years.
In the following years, we've seen the widow battle her own issues with guilt, we've had 2 of their 3 kids live with us. We've seen emotional issues, drug issues, issues from lack of a father and many other things. This time, we did more than say "atta boy".
The silver lining? I quit drinking about a month after the crash. My son (28), who watched this nightmare growing up, will not touch alcohol.
This is a poor analogy but I look at alcohol the way I look at guns. When handled properly, they can both be safe. When misused, they can both be deadly. The really painful part isn't the death, but the lingering collateral damage that goes on for years.
There's bound to be some clever saying about guns, alcohol and being loaded but I can't come up with it. So, I'll just say this:
if you drink, do so in moderation.
Family and friends ALWAYS trump that next drink
Fill the kids closet before you fill that fridge in the garage
Your actions in front of your kids carry tons more weight than your words.
All the answers at the bottom of a bottle are wrong. Look somewhere else to fix things.
A slap on the back and an "atta boy" while popping a top is not supporting an alcoholic.
https://www.biblestudytools.com/1-corinthians/6-12.html"I have the right to do anything," you saybut not everything is beneficial. "I have the right to do anything"but I will not be mastered by anything.
