J.R. said:
and exactly how? Inquiring minds would like to know.
First call: Putin. So here's a peace plan. You get eastern ukraine, including Kiev. You don't get Odessa. What remains of Ukraine is eligible for EU economic, but not NATO membership. The Ukrainian constitution is re-written to command military neutrality, and its Nazi movement is banned. I have no desire to recreate the Cuban missile crisis so we are pulling our recently announced long range missiles from Germany. We aren't seizing your assets, and full economic and diplomatic ties with Russia are restored. Simultaneously we are building up the conventional forces of Poland, Germany, and our eastern NATO partners. We are going to keep a tight grip on the leash. But if you do send the Russian military west of Kiev or into Odessa we let the leash go.
Second call: joint chiefs, secretary of state. Come to my office. I'm running the Ukraine situation directly now. Any deviation from my stated strategy will result in your firing. Any public statements contrary to my strategy will result in your firing. Any questions? Good. You have 24 hours to turn off all funding to Ukraine and the Zelensky government. Any questions? Good.
Third call: Zelensky. I'm throwing your government under the bus, your funding and military support has been cut off. The Ukrainian military needs to withdraw west of the Dniper and surrender Kiev to the Russians. Lvov is your new capital city. You get to keep Odessa. You are eligible for EU, but never NATO membership. Understand that this is the best last offer you are going to get. The next one is the Russians take however much they feel like. So I suggest you get on the phone with Vlad and work out the specifics of a ceasefire and your retreat.
Fourth Call: Farage, LePen, Orban, Meloni, and
Andrzej Duda to explain the new situation in Europe, and how their economies are going to boom with the restoration of inexpensive Russian energy...and yes, I know that Farage, LePen, and Duda aren't leaders of their governments. The decision to bypass Tusk, Macron, and Starmer is deliberate.