* * Fun With Dick and Jane

53,336 Views | 618 Replies | Last: 2 yr ago by saabing bear
Assassin
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6:01p, 6/23/22
I'm like the dollar bill that the Coke machine won't accept. Nothing wrong with me. Just been in circulation too long.
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Assassin
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6:02p, 6/23/22
I'm not damaged goods, I'm damaged greats!
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Assassin
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3:35p, 6/27/22
Don't piss off old people.

The older we get, the less 'life in prison' is a deterrent.
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Assassin
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3:41p, 6/27/22
Futons are the most disappointing Transformers ever.
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Assassin
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7:12p, 7/2/22
Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing it for years...
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Assassin
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7:14p, 7/2/22
A recent survey reports that people are more cynical now than any time in history.

Like I'm really supposed to believe that…
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Assassin
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8:12p, 7/7/22
A book fell on my head,

I can only blame my shelf.
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4th and Inches
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8:41a, 7/19/22
Why is 'dark' spelled with a k and not c?

Because you can't see in the dark.
“The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom.”

Jon Stewart
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Assassin
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9:29p, 7/22/22
I have done some truly amazing things to get the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube.
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Assassin
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9:33p, 7/22/22
I think that a lot of conflict that happened in the Wild West could've been avoided had architects in those days just made their towns big enough for everyone.
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6:41p, 10/24/22
I'm not a doctor but I know adding bacon to anything makes it an antidepressant
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Assassin
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6:41p, 10/24/22
Ok body wash, unless you're caffeinated and drinkable, you can cool it with the "energizing" claims. You're soap!
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Assassin
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2:42p, 10/25/22
If corn oil is made from corn...what is baby oil made from?
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4th and Inches
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9:52p, 10/25/22
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing someone's cast.
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4th and Inches
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9:54p, 10/25/22
The problem isn't that obesity runs in your family. It's that no one runs in your family.
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4th and Inches
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9:57p, 10/25/22
6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down.
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william
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11:28p, 10/25/22
good to see the assman back........

Are you a man or a mouse!? - F. D.
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Assassin
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In reply to 4th and Inches • 10:59a, 10/26/22
4th and Inches said:
6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down.
Added to my FB page
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Assassin
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In reply to william • 10:59a, 10/26/22
william said:
good to see the assman back........

2 months in the hospital kinda slowed me down
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Assassin
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4:33p, 10/31/22
After extensive research I have found that nearly ALL microbiologists are the same size as regular people...
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4th and Inches
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6:57a, 11/4/22
A huge stack of toilet rolls fell on me in the supermarket. I'm ok though, just soft tissue damage.
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Assassin
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8:41a, 11/4/22
Evening news is where they begin with saying "Good evening", and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
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Assassin
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6:48p, 11/5/22
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
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saabing bear
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In reply to 4th and Inches • 3:49p, 11/9/22
4th and Inches said:
The problem isn't that obesity runs in your family. It's that no one runs in your family.
Diarrhea does.
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