* * Fun With Dick and Jane

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Dia del DougO
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6:04p, 8/4/17

sicem365 may be rethinking their merger with baylorfans.
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Roy Rogers
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6:19p, 8/4/17
My math teacher called me average. How mean!
"Sic em yesterday, sic em today, sic em forever"
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Gold Tron
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6:37p, 8/4/17
My dyslexic daughter always says that when life gives you a lemon, make melon-ade.

She came up with that on her own...
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Assassin
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7:40p, 8/4/17
What kind of magic do cows believe in?

MOODOO!!
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Roy Rogers
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7:45p, 8/4/17
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
"Sic em yesterday, sic em today, sic em forever"
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Assassin
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8:38a, 8/5/17
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it...
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Assassin
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8:45a, 8/5/17
My gal is leaving me because I'm going bald.

I'm not bothered, it's hair loss.
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Assassin
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8:46a, 8/5/17
Why did the vegan cross the road?

To tell someone he was a vegan.
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Assassin
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9:56a, 8/5/17
I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.

Feefiphobia.
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Malbec
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12:11p, 8/5/17
If you choked Papa Smurf, what color would he turn?
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syme
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12:23p, 8/5/17
Son: "Dad, why is my sister's name Rose?"

Dad: "because your mom loves roses."

Son: "Thanks, dad"

Dad: "You're welcome, BJ"
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Assassin
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In reply to syme • 12:39p, 8/5/17
syme said:
Son: "Dad, why is my sister's name Rose?"

Dad: "because your mom loves roses."

Son: "Thanks, dad"

Dad: "You're welcome, BJ"
Come again?
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Assassin
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12:43p, 8/5/17
The dirty look you give the asphalt after you trip and faceplant...
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Assassin
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12:49p, 8/5/17
After all these years, I'm finally ready to confess...


I let the dogs out!
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syme
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In reply to Assassin • 12:54p, 8/5/17
The son was named after what the dad loves.
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Roy Rogers
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3:34p, 8/5/17
There's safety in Numbers, but I prefer Deuteronomy.
"Sic em yesterday, sic em today, sic em forever"
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Assassin
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In reply to syme • 4:09p, 8/5/17
syme said:
The son was named after what the dad loves.
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Assassin
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4:54p, 8/5/17
The 3 things I'm grateful for:

1. Family
2. Friends
3. Caller ID to avoid family and friends.
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Assassin
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5:02p, 8/5/17
What do the movies "The Sixth Sense" and "Titanic" have in common?

Icy dead people.
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Roy Rogers
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5:15p, 8/5/17
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? You can't tuna fish!
"Sic em yesterday, sic em today, sic em forever"
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Assassin
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8:33a, 8/6/17
To the person who hid my shoes while I was on the bouncy castle - Grow up!
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Assassin
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8:34a, 8/6/17
Sometimes I use really big words which I don't understand to make me seem more photosynthesis.
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Assassin
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8:58a, 8/6/17
A duck was about to cross the road when a chicken came running & said, "No don't do it!, you'll never hear the friggin end of it!"
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Assassin
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9:01a, 8/6/17
I was dating this dominatrix, then one night I told her it's time to hit the sack.
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Assassin
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10:37a, 8/8/17
After dealing with DirectTV billing this AM, I wonder how long I'd be on hold if my call wasn't important to them...
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Assassin
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10:37a, 8/8/17
Cooking Tip: If you're tired of always having to boil water every-time you make pasta, boil a few gallons at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later.

You're welcome!
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Assassin
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10:38a, 8/8/17
Quote:
Two Aggies are walking down the street. The first one, who is carrying a bag of doughnuts, says to the other, "If you can guess how many doughnuts are in my bag you can have both of them."
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Assassin
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10:59a, 8/9/17
I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym again today - that's like seven years in a row.
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Assassin
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10:59a, 8/9/17
I'm not fat, I'm just half a foot short...
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Assassin
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11:00a, 8/9/17
This guy was killed with a Starter's pistol today.

Police think it's race-related...
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Roy Rogers
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11:26a, 8/9/17
I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually, it came back to me.
"Sic em yesterday, sic em today, sic em forever"
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Franko
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5:02p, 8/9/17
2024 Adopt-A-Bear
Kelsey Johnson: 0-0-0
3 angry parent tweets
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Franko
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5:03p, 8/9/17
2024 Adopt-A-Bear
Kelsey Johnson: 0-0-0
3 angry parent tweets
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Franko
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5:03p, 8/9/17
2024 Adopt-A-Bear
Kelsey Johnson: 0-0-0
3 angry parent tweets
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Franko
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5:48p, 8/9/17
I do not have a vast collection of jokes, one-liners etc. But I have a strange fascination with the funny and odd things that can be found on the internet. I have collected some of this stuff over the years. So Assassin, if you don't mind, I thought this would be an appropriate place to share some of this stuff.

Would you go to either of these urologists?
http://somerseturology.co.uk/doctor/mr-burns-cox/
https://www.urologyteam.com/our-doctors/dr-richard-chopp
2024 Adopt-A-Bear
Kelsey Johnson: 0-0-0
3 angry parent tweets
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