* * Fun With Dick and Jane

53,322 Views | 618 Replies | Last: 2 yr ago by saabing bear
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:15p, 7/31/17
a bit of levity to brighten up your day. One liners, short jokes - take a swing
-----------------------------
I've just finished reading a book called "How To Give Constructive Criticism."

What a load of crap!
Reply Quote
10
1 edit
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:15p, 7/31/17
How many dyslexics does it take to change a light bulb?

Steven!
Reply Quote
2
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
7:29a, 8/1/17
Turns out that my get rich painfully slow scheme isn't working out either...
Reply Quote
4
4th and Inches
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:40a, 8/1/17
I saw an ad this morning for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.
Reply Quote
10
4th and Inches
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:42a, 8/1/17
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
Reply Quote
9
4th and Inches
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:48a, 8/1/17
I sometimes watch birds and wonder "If I could fly who would I poop on?"
Reply Quote
8
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:52a, 8/1/17
I should never have climbed into this vat of curdled milk. I'm in whey over my head.
Reply Quote
3
Mr Tulip
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
2:50p, 8/1/17
I told my girlfriend that I thought she drew her eyebrows on a little too high this morning.

She looked surprised.
Reply Quote
8
Keyser Soze
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
7:25p, 8/1/17
Reply Quote
2
Oldbear83
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
11:12a, 8/3/17
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

(thanks to Stephen Wright)
That which does not kill me, will try again and get nastier
Reply Quote
4
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
11:19a, 8/3/17
testing, testing...
Reply Quote
1 edit
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
11:40a, 8/3/17

I've been thinking of adding a bedroom on top of my house, but that's another story...
Reply Quote
3
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
11:41a, 8/3/17
That awkward moment when you tell a chemistry joke and you get no reaction.

I guess all the good chemistry puns argon.
Reply Quote
5
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Assassin • 11:54a, 8/3/17
Assassin said:
That awkward moment when you tell a chemistry joke and you get no reaction.

I guess all the good chemistry puns argon.
I was follow that with a joke about Sodium but .....

Na.
Reply Quote
7
Mr Tulip
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
12:39p, 8/3/17
I lost an electron around here some place.

I'm positive!
Reply Quote
5
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Mr Tulip • 12:50p, 8/3/17
Mr Tulip said:
I lost an electron around here some place.

I'm positive!
Let me atom!
Reply Quote
3
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
12:51p, 8/3/17
Reply Quote
5
Malbec
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
1:13p, 8/3/17
I went all the way to the top of the Empire State Building. Then I put money into some binoculars to look at things on the ground.
Reply Quote
8
Malbec
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
1:18p, 8/3/17
I had a friend who passed away last week. He was scared half to death for the second time.
Reply Quote
5
Malbec
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
1:22p, 8/3/17
Maybe the solution to rising sea levels is just to grow more sponges?
Reply Quote
7
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
2:39p, 8/3/17
Aggie Chick: "Someone told me I have chemistry with a cute guy. But I don't have Chemistry until next semester..."
Reply Quote
3
Malbec
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
5:40p, 8/3/17
I went to get a reading from a psychic the other day, but I walked out when she asked for my name.
Reply Quote
4
Malbec
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
5:45p, 8/3/17
If Sybil took an overdose of pills, would it be considered a murder-suicide?
Reply Quote
3
DioNoZeus
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
6:26p, 8/3/17
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?

Christopher Walken
Reply Quote
7
DioNoZeus
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
6:30p, 8/3/17
I once knew this ostitute who liked to earn a little money on the side
Reply Quote
1
marco
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
10:17p, 8/3/17
The average woman is a size 10-14. My ex was an above average woman.
Reply Quote
2
Malbec
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
10:43p, 8/3/17
My deaf friend had his lawsuit thrown out. He was at a big disadvantage at the hearing.
Reply Quote
1
Roy Rogers
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
10:48p, 8/3/17
The girl told her father she wanted to become a bubble dancer. Her dad said "No Soap".
"Sic em yesterday, sic em today, sic em forever"
Reply Quote
1
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
2:53p, 8/4/17
I can't stand it when people don't know the difference between your and you're.

There so dumb.
Reply Quote
8
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
3:15p, 8/4/17
The kids have been throwing Scrabble tiles at each other again.

I keep telling them to stop it or someone's gonna lose an i.
Reply Quote
5
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
3:17p, 8/4/17
Life was so simple before my gal moved in. I had absolutely no idea that there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge.
Reply Quote
3
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
5:27p, 8/4/17
Reply Quote
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
5:30p, 8/4/17
For Sale, Limited Edition bottle of "White Out"

It's a corrector's item.
Reply Quote
7
Roy Rogers
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
5:35p, 8/4/17
The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.
"Sic em yesterday, sic em today, sic em forever"
Reply Quote
4
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
5:42p, 8/4/17
Reply Quote
14
 
×
subscribe Verify your student status
See Subscription Benefits
Trial only available to users who have never subscribed or participated in a previous trial.