* * Fun With Dick and Jane

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4th and Inches
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7:14a, 2/26/19
Oregon leads America in both marital infidelity and clinical depression...

What a sad state of affairs.
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Assassin
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10:35p, 3/5/19
All those who believe in psychokinesis please raise my hand.
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4th and Inches
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10:10p, 3/18/19
My wife told me a joke about paper...

It was tearable
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Assassin
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8:24a, 7/6/19
"Well, now I see how you came up with the word 'Microsoft'."
-Melinda Gates (on their wedding night)
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Assassin
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8:24a, 7/6/19
Think we could get the North Korean hackers to end "Keeping Up With The Kardashians"?
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Assassin
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8:24a, 7/6/19
Pavlov is sitting in the pub when the bell rings for last orders.

"Crap!" he shouts, "I forgot to feed the dog!"
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Assassin
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11:06p, 7/7/19
Why are there never any good side effects?

Just once I'd like to read a bottle that says, "May cause extreme sexiness..."
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Wichitabear
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In reply to Assassin • 4:36p, 7/8/19
Lol
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Assassin
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10:15a, 7/10/19
The snooze button, because there's nothing like starting your day off with a little procrastination.
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Assassin
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10:01p, 7/28/19
LITTLE KNOWN FACT:

Every zoo is a petting zoo...if you're brave enough.
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Assassin
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3:30p, 8/28/19
Considering I'm broke, I wonder if she'll let me be her 'sugar-free daddy'.
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Assassin
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3:31p, 8/28/19
WHEW!

I just had a near-work experience.
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Assassin
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3:31p, 8/28/19
A terrorist attack has blown away 2 houses, one made of straw and another of wood. Police think that it's probably a lone wolf...
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Assassin
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10:05p, 9/6/19
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Assassin
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5:12p, 10/3/19
Sometimes my brain has too many tabs open...
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Assassin
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5:13p, 10/3/19
To whomever is writing 'Wash me!' in the dust on my car.

Next time, don't date it...
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Assassin
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5:02p, 12/30/19
"Grow a pear!"

aka

How to insult an apple tree...
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Assassin
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5:02p, 12/30/19
You can correct people's grammar or you can have friends.

But you can't do both.
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Assassin
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5:03p, 12/30/19
"You have the right to remain silent so as not to incriminate yourself"
-- 5th Amendment, understood by not a soul on Facebook.
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Assassin
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8:15a, 1/7/20
Male camel toe?

Dude, that's just nuts!
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Assassin
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8:17a, 1/7/20
You can really scare someone when you yell "Peek-a-boo!". Especially when they're trying on clothes in the fitting room.
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Assassin
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8:47a, 1/7/20
My three biggest fear are mouses, wolfs & proper pluralization...
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Assassin
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8:57p, 1/11/20
I met a guy who was addicted to sniffing brake fluid.

He said he could stop any time.
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Assassin
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8:58p, 1/11/20
I once fell into an upholstery machine but now I'm fully recovered...
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Assassin
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In reply to 4th and Inches • 8:59p, 1/11/20
Gruvin said:
My wife told me a joke about paper...

It was tearable
ouch!
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Mr. Sippi
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In reply to Assassin • 9:03p, 1/11/20
Assassin said:
I once fell into an upholstery machine but now I'm fully recovered...

Like the optometrist who fell into the lens grinding machine and made a spectacle of himself...
Baylor grad, 'Bama dad
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Assassin
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9:07p, 1/11/20
*-+
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Assassin
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9:07p, 1/11/20
Texting wasn't always easy. In the old days, you had to work for it. And want it. An S? You had to click the 7 button 4 times!
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Assassin
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3:15p, 2/29/20
Porn is a lot like yoga pants. Not everybody should be in them.
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Franko
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10:06a, 7/2/20
This thread has gone dormant, but I found some old funny stuff on my computer today. So I thought I would dump some of it here.

This is pretty impressive.



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Franko
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10:06a, 7/2/20
Some real bad asses.



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Franko
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10:07a, 7/2/20
Wasted weatherman (and he's a Baylor grad)


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Franko
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10:07a, 7/2/20
Honesty in song lyrics


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Franko
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10:08a, 7/2/20
"I don't free base cocaine."



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Franko
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10:09a, 7/2/20
She did what?

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