* * Fun With Dick and Jane

45,505 Views | 618 Replies | Last: 1 yr ago by saabing bear
Assassin
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So after winning the game, I decided to throw the ball into the crowd, like in the NFL.

Apparently, it's unacceptable in bowling.
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Dallas, Dallas Public, Texas, Texas Football, Texas Basketball, Texas Music. Come see us!
Assassin
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A word to the wise ain't necessary.

Those aren't the ones that need the advice...
Assassin
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Proud to say that I did my first book signing at 'Barnes and Noble' today. I wrote my name in 27 books before they threw me out.
Assassin
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I was playing Bonopoly last night.

Its the same as Monopoly except the streets have no name...
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Dallas, Dallas Public, Texas, Texas Football, Texas Basketball, Texas Music. Come see us!
Assassin
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A guy at work claims he didn't steal the battery out of my calculator, but something just didn't add up...
4th and Inches
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Maybe if we start telling people the brain is an app they will start using it.
“Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans. It is lovely to be silly at the right moment.”

–Horace


“Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’ “
Assassin
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Gruvin said:

Maybe if we start telling people the brain is an app they will start using it.
Let me check my Android on that
Assassin
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Everyone is gifted...

But not everyone opens their present.
On Facebook at "Memories of...":
Dallas, Dallas Public, Texas, Texas Football, Texas Basketball, Texas Music. Come see us!
Assassin
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Everyone is gifted...

But not everyone opens their present.
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Dallas, Dallas Public, Texas, Texas Football, Texas Basketball, Texas Music. Come see us!
Assassin
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He died doing what he loved, surprising tigers.
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NoBSU
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The threes types of orgasms.
1. The positive - Oh yes, Oh yes.
2. The religious - Oh god, Oh god.
3. The fake - Oh Assassin, Oh Assassin.
Assassin
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My house looks like I'm losing a game of Jumanji.
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Dallas, Dallas Public, Texas, Texas Football, Texas Basketball, Texas Music. Come see us!
Assassin
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You know it's time to clean your screen when you start confusing dirt with punctuation.
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Dallas, Dallas Public, Texas, Texas Football, Texas Basketball, Texas Music. Come see us!
NoBSU
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Assassin said:

You know it's time to clean your screen when you start confusing dirt with punctuation.
I play an app war game. The specks of dirt are bad but one an ant crawled across my screen. I was like, holy crap! Why don't I have that troop. It is going to smash my squad.
Assassin
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I want to point out that I am now an Amazon Prime member so it's about time you started treating me with a little more respect!
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Dallas, Dallas Public, Texas, Texas Football, Texas Basketball, Texas Music. Come see us!
Assassin
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For Sale.

Old batteries, free of charge.
On Facebook at "Memories of...":
Dallas, Dallas Public, Texas, Texas Football, Texas Basketball, Texas Music. Come see us!
McCavebear
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There are three kinds of people in the world-- those who are good at math and those who aren't.
McCavebear Lives!
Assassin
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I've been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well start calling them traditions.
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Assassin
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Yawning - our body's way of saying 20% of battery remaining...
On Facebook at "Memories of...":
Dallas, Dallas Public, Texas, Texas Football, Texas Basketball, Texas Music. Come see us!
4th and Inches
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6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down!
“Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans. It is lovely to be silly at the right moment.”

–Horace


“Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’ “
Assassin
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My gal has just left me due to my love of horse racing.

She's at the gate....and she's off!
On Facebook at "Memories of...":
Dallas, Dallas Public, Texas, Texas Football, Texas Basketball, Texas Music. Come see us!
Assassin
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What do you call someone with no body and a nose?

Nobody knows!
On Facebook at "Memories of...":
Dallas, Dallas Public, Texas, Texas Football, Texas Basketball, Texas Music. Come see us!
Assassin
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Me: Mom, am I ugly?


Mom: I've told you not to call me Mom in front of people!
On Facebook at "Memories of...":
Dallas, Dallas Public, Texas, Texas Football, Texas Basketball, Texas Music. Come see us!
Assassin
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I'm planning to be spontaneous.

Starting tomorrow
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Dallas, Dallas Public, Texas, Texas Football, Texas Basketball, Texas Music. Come see us!
Assassin
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Did you know 'emas eht yltcaxe' is exactly the same backwards?
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Dallas, Dallas Public, Texas, Texas Football, Texas Basketball, Texas Music. Come see us!
Assassin
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Like medicine, some people should only be allowed to talk in doses.

Like 1 sentence 3X a day!
Mr. Sippi
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Fun thread, Assassin...

Patient to psychiatrist: I've had some strange dreams lately, Doc. In one I was a wigwam, and in another I was a teepee.
Psychiatrist: Your problem is that you're too tense.
Baylor grad, 'Bama dad
Mr. Sippi
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Girlfriend to aggy as they're making out: Would you like to see where I had my appendix taken out?
Aggy: No thanks, I hate hospitals.
Baylor grad, 'Bama dad
Mr. Sippi
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Later, as aggy and girlfriend continue...
Aggy says "I love you", as he rubs her tummy.
"Lower, lower", she says.
Aggy: "I love you", he says in a deeper voice.
Baylor grad, 'Bama dad
Mr. Sippi
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What's the difference between a brown-eyed aggy and a blue-eyed aggy?
The blue-eyed aggy's a quart low.
Baylor grad, 'Bama dad
Assassin
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I don't get it. Don't the cops know that the speed limit is different when you're listening to Black Sabbath?
Assassin
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How does one get suspended with full pay and benefits? Asking for a friend...
Assassin
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Please rephrase your question in the form of a compliment.
Assassin
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Space heaters.

The perfect housewarming gift.
Franko
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Not a joke, but this is pretty amusing. His last comment had me rolling.



2021-2023 Adopt-A-Bear
Anthony Anywanwu
cumulative stats:
2022 (Redshirt Sophomore)
Named second-team Academic All-Big 12 … Played in nine games off the bench, totaling seven tackles, including 1.5 for a loss … Went for three tackles, including a tackle for a loss in the win over Texas State … Had a stop at Iowa State … Had three tackles, including half a tackle for a loss, at West Virginia.
 
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