* * Fun With Dick and Jane

51,358 Views | 618 Replies | Last: 2 yr ago by saabing bear
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
11:23a, 12/12/17
So after winning the game, I decided to throw the ball into the crowd, like in the NFL.

Apparently, it's unacceptable in bowling.
Facebook Groups at; Memories of... Dallas, Texas, Football in Texas, Texas Music, Memories From a Texas Window and Dallas History Guild. Come visit!
Reply Quote
1
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
12:04p, 12/16/17
A word to the wise ain't necessary.

Those aren't the ones that need the advice...
Reply Quote
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
7:06p, 12/18/17
Proud to say that I did my first book signing at 'Barnes and Noble' today. I wrote my name in 27 books before they threw me out.
Reply Quote
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:45p, 12/19/17
I was playing Bonopoly last night.

Its the same as Monopoly except the streets have no name...
Facebook Groups at; Memories of... Dallas, Texas, Football in Texas, Texas Music, Memories From a Texas Window and Dallas History Guild. Come visit!
Reply Quote
1
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
8:52a, 2/16/18
A guy at work claims he didn't steal the battery out of my calculator, but something just didn't add up...
Reply Quote
4th and Inches
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:14a, 2/17/18
Maybe if we start telling people the brain is an app they will start using it.
Adopt-a-Bear 2024

#90 COOPER LANZ ( DL )
CLASS Junior
HT/WT 6' 3", 288 lbs


#50 KAIAN ROBERTS-DAY ( DL )
CLASS Sophomore
HT/WT 6' 3", 273 lbs
Reply Quote
2
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to 4th and Inches • 4:20p, 2/17/18
Gruvin said:
Maybe if we start telling people the brain is an app they will start using it.
Let me check my Android on that
Reply Quote
1
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
5:06p, 3/4/18
Everyone is gifted...

But not everyone opens their present.
Facebook Groups at; Memories of... Dallas, Texas, Football in Texas, Texas Music, Memories From a Texas Window and Dallas History Guild. Come visit!
Reply Quote
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
5:06p, 3/4/18
Everyone is gifted...

But not everyone opens their present.
Facebook Groups at; Memories of... Dallas, Texas, Football in Texas, Texas Music, Memories From a Texas Window and Dallas History Guild. Come visit!
Reply Quote
1
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
5:07p, 3/4/18
He died doing what he loved, surprising tigers.
Facebook Groups at; Memories of... Dallas, Texas, Football in Texas, Texas Music, Memories From a Texas Window and Dallas History Guild. Come visit!
Reply Quote
NoBSU
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
3:45a, 3/5/18
The threes types of orgasms.
1. The positive - Oh yes, Oh yes.
2. The religious - Oh god, Oh god.
3. The fake - Oh Assassin, Oh Assassin.
Reply Quote
3
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
5:43p, 3/5/18
My house looks like I'm losing a game of Jumanji.
Facebook Groups at; Memories of... Dallas, Texas, Football in Texas, Texas Music, Memories From a Texas Window and Dallas History Guild. Come visit!
Reply Quote
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
5:44p, 3/5/18
You know it's time to clean your screen when you start confusing dirt with punctuation.
Facebook Groups at; Memories of... Dallas, Texas, Football in Texas, Texas Music, Memories From a Texas Window and Dallas History Guild. Come visit!
Reply Quote
4
NoBSU
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Assassin • 9:06p, 3/5/18
Assassin said:
You know it's time to clean your screen when you start confusing dirt with punctuation.
I play an app war game. The specks of dirt are bad but one an ant crawled across my screen. I was like, holy crap! Why don't I have that troop. It is going to smash my squad.
Reply Quote
2
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
4:04p, 3/9/18
I want to point out that I am now an Amazon Prime member so it's about time you started treating me with a little more respect!
Facebook Groups at; Memories of... Dallas, Texas, Football in Texas, Texas Music, Memories From a Texas Window and Dallas History Guild. Come visit!
Reply Quote
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
4:05p, 3/9/18
For Sale.

Old batteries, free of charge.
Facebook Groups at; Memories of... Dallas, Texas, Football in Texas, Texas Music, Memories From a Texas Window and Dallas History Guild. Come visit!
Reply Quote
2
McCavebear
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
7:57a, 3/10/18
There are three kinds of people in the world-- those who are good at math and those who aren't.
McCavebear Lives!
Reply Quote
1
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:30a, 3/10/18
I've been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well start calling them traditions.
Facebook Groups at; Memories of... Dallas, Texas, Football in Texas, Texas Music, Memories From a Texas Window and Dallas History Guild. Come visit!
Reply Quote
2
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:32a, 3/10/18
Yawning - our body's way of saying 20% of battery remaining...
Facebook Groups at; Memories of... Dallas, Texas, Football in Texas, Texas Music, Memories From a Texas Window and Dallas History Guild. Come visit!
Reply Quote
2
4th and Inches
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
1:00p, 3/11/18
6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down!
Adopt-a-Bear 2024

#90 COOPER LANZ ( DL )
CLASS Junior
HT/WT 6' 3", 288 lbs


#50 KAIAN ROBERTS-DAY ( DL )
CLASS Sophomore
HT/WT 6' 3", 273 lbs
Reply Quote
3
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
6:19p, 3/11/18
My gal has just left me due to my love of horse racing.

She's at the gate....and she's off!
Facebook Groups at; Memories of... Dallas, Texas, Football in Texas, Texas Music, Memories From a Texas Window and Dallas History Guild. Come visit!
Reply Quote
1
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
6:20p, 3/11/18
What do you call someone with no body and a nose?

Nobody knows!
Facebook Groups at; Memories of... Dallas, Texas, Football in Texas, Texas Music, Memories From a Texas Window and Dallas History Guild. Come visit!
Reply Quote
1
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
8:10a, 3/12/18
Me: Mom, am I ugly?


Mom: I've told you not to call me Mom in front of people!
Facebook Groups at; Memories of... Dallas, Texas, Football in Texas, Texas Music, Memories From a Texas Window and Dallas History Guild. Come visit!
Reply Quote
1
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
8:11a, 3/12/18
I'm planning to be spontaneous.

Starting tomorrow
Facebook Groups at; Memories of... Dallas, Texas, Football in Texas, Texas Music, Memories From a Texas Window and Dallas History Guild. Come visit!
Reply Quote
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
8:12a, 3/12/18
Did you know 'emas eht yltcaxe' is exactly the same backwards?
Facebook Groups at; Memories of... Dallas, Texas, Football in Texas, Texas Music, Memories From a Texas Window and Dallas History Guild. Come visit!
Reply Quote
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
12:49p, 3/14/18
Like medicine, some people should only be allowed to talk in doses.

Like 1 sentence 3X a day!
Reply Quote
Mr. Sippi
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:34p, 3/22/18
Fun thread, Assassin...

Patient to psychiatrist: I've had some strange dreams lately, Doc. In one I was a wigwam, and in another I was a teepee.
Psychiatrist: Your problem is that you're too tense.
Baylor grad, 'Bama dad
Reply Quote
1
Mr. Sippi
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:39p, 3/22/18
Girlfriend to aggy as they're making out: Would you like to see where I had my appendix taken out?
Aggy: No thanks, I hate hospitals.
Baylor grad, 'Bama dad
Reply Quote
1
Mr. Sippi
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:45p, 3/22/18
Later, as aggy and girlfriend continue...
Aggy says "I love you", as he rubs her tummy.
"Lower, lower", she says.
Aggy: "I love you", he says in a deeper voice.
Baylor grad, 'Bama dad
Reply Quote
1
Mr. Sippi
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:48p, 3/22/18
What's the difference between a brown-eyed aggy and a blue-eyed aggy?
The blue-eyed aggy's a quart low.
Baylor grad, 'Bama dad
Reply Quote
1
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
10:56a, 3/23/18
I don't get it. Don't the cops know that the speed limit is different when you're listening to Black Sabbath?
Reply Quote
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
10:56a, 3/23/18
How does one get suspended with full pay and benefits? Asking for a friend...
Reply Quote
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
10:56a, 3/23/18
Please rephrase your question in the form of a compliment.
Reply Quote
Assassin
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
10:56a, 3/23/18
Space heaters.

The perfect housewarming gift.
Reply Quote
1
Franko
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
11:13a, 3/23/18
Not a joke, but this is pretty amusing. His last comment had me rolling.



2024 Adopt-A-Bear
Kelsey Johnson: 0-0-0
3 angry parent tweets
Reply Quote
2
1 edit
 
×
subscribe Verify your student status
See Subscription Benefits
Trial only available to users who have never subscribed or participated in a previous trial.